1 00:00:06,745 --> 00:00:09,434 [Eerie music] 2 00:00:09,503 --> 00:00:14,434 ? 3 00:00:14,503 --> 00:00:19,641 ? 4 00:00:19,710 --> 00:00:20,641 [Glass shatters] 5 00:00:20,710 --> 00:00:22,503 [Electricity crackles] 6 00:00:22,607 --> 00:00:26,365 ? 7 00:00:26,434 --> 00:00:31,158 [Muffled noises] 8 00:00:31,986 --> 00:00:33,986 -Aah! 9 00:00:34,089 --> 00:00:36,676 ? 10 00:00:36,779 --> 00:00:38,227 [Screaming] 11 00:00:38,331 --> 00:00:42,227 ? 12 00:00:42,296 --> 00:00:44,158 -Sorry. Can we cut? 13 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:45,365 Can we cut? 14 00:00:45,434 --> 00:00:47,503 -Director: Cut! 15 00:00:47,572 --> 00:00:49,745 Hey! Hey. Hey, Paige. 16 00:00:49,814 --> 00:00:51,296 Hey, are you okay? You okay? -Yeah. 17 00:00:51,365 --> 00:00:53,158 -Oh, man, I thought this might be too triggering. 18 00:00:53,227 --> 00:00:54,814 If you need time, you just say the word, I -- 19 00:00:54,883 --> 00:00:56,883 -No, no. I'm fine. Really. 20 00:00:56,986 --> 00:01:00,089 -Are you sure? -Yeah. No, not right now, please. Thank you. 21 00:01:00,158 --> 00:01:03,607 -Then what is it? Tell me anything. 22 00:01:03,710 --> 00:01:06,296 -I guess I just don't fully understand 23 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,952 why Caitlin is standing here waiting to die. 24 00:01:09,055 --> 00:01:12,400 -Okay, okay, but she doesn't die. 25 00:01:12,503 --> 00:01:13,779 She doesn't die, right? 26 00:01:13,848 --> 00:01:15,917 Uh, Emma jumps out at the last second, 27 00:01:16,021 --> 00:01:18,779 distracting Baphomet and -- -Right. That's my point. 28 00:01:18,848 --> 00:01:19,986 Caitlin doesn't save herself here. 29 00:01:20,055 --> 00:01:21,745 Caitlin always saves herself. 30 00:01:21,814 --> 00:01:23,331 And after what I've been through, 31 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,158 the last thing I would do in her situation 32 00:01:25,227 --> 00:01:27,917 is wait for someone else to save me. 33 00:01:31,262 --> 00:01:34,365 -Someone get those writers on set to fix this mess! 34 00:01:34,434 --> 00:01:37,124 Of course Caitlin should be saving herself. Duh. 35 00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:39,400 Thank you. This is why you're the queen. 36 00:01:39,848 --> 00:01:41,883 -Thank you. -Director: Thank you. 37 00:01:53,021 --> 00:01:54,814 -What? 38 00:01:55,710 --> 00:01:58,124 -It's a reboot. There's no rules. 39 00:01:58,227 --> 00:02:00,296 And you're not the star of it all. 40 00:02:00,676 --> 00:02:02,296 -You sure about that? 41 00:02:02,365 --> 00:02:03,986 -It's not gonna be a problem. The line comes right here. 42 00:02:04,055 --> 00:02:05,607 -No, leave that out. This is what we're doing. 43 00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:07,296 -Hey, and do me a favor, okay? 44 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,365 On the next take, why don't you give me something to work with? 45 00:02:10,641 --> 00:02:12,745 Hold it... 46 00:02:12,814 --> 00:02:14,503 ...like you could actually kill someone. 47 00:02:16,296 --> 00:02:19,538 Thank you. Can't wait to do it again. 48 00:02:19,814 --> 00:02:21,227 [Door thuds shut] 49 00:02:21,331 --> 00:02:28,296 ? 50 00:02:28,365 --> 00:02:30,952 -"Emma, stay back." -"Caitlin, I can take him." 51 00:02:31,021 --> 00:02:32,676 -"And then he'll take you. 52 00:02:32,779 --> 00:02:34,779 I've danced this dance more times than I care to remember." 53 00:02:36,158 --> 00:02:39,503 Sorry, I -- I'm not shitting on the writers. 54 00:02:39,607 --> 00:02:40,917 -No, shit on them. They're garbage. 55 00:02:41,021 --> 00:02:43,158 Studio scraped the bottom of the barrel. 56 00:02:43,262 --> 00:02:47,227 -Okay, "I've danced this dance?" Who actually talks like that? 57 00:02:47,331 --> 00:02:50,745 -Just a corny white guy who's over 50, apparently. 58 00:02:50,848 --> 00:02:54,400 -Exactly. So can we simplify it? 59 00:02:54,503 --> 00:02:55,883 -Yeah. -Like -- 60 00:02:56,607 --> 00:03:00,986 Okay, what if she says, "And then he'll take you. 61 00:03:01,089 --> 00:03:02,572 Trust me, Emma, I know what I'm doing." 62 00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:03,986 -Mm-hm. -Right? 63 00:03:04,089 --> 00:03:05,986 -Yeah. No, that's a million times better. 64 00:03:06,089 --> 00:03:07,469 -Straight to the point. -Right? 65 00:03:07,538 --> 00:03:08,952 'Cause, I mean, that's what it's actually like 66 00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:10,296 when your life is on the line. 67 00:03:11,572 --> 00:03:13,986 Sorry. If -- if I'm being a diva, expecting rewrites -- 68 00:03:14,055 --> 00:03:15,641 -Oh my God, no, no. -I don't wanna be a problem. 69 00:03:15,745 --> 00:03:16,986 -Not at all. No. -Okay. 70 00:03:17,089 --> 00:03:18,641 -No, no, we are so lucky to have you. 71 00:03:18,710 --> 00:03:20,124 No, I just -- 72 00:03:23,089 --> 00:03:26,745 I wanted to respect your privacy, 73 00:03:26,848 --> 00:03:31,124 but we can actually make this mean something. 74 00:03:31,227 --> 00:03:32,917 Okay? Because you have first hand knowledge 75 00:03:33,021 --> 00:03:36,124 of what it's really like, that fear, that panic, 76 00:03:36,227 --> 00:03:38,883 that real life hell. You can mine things 77 00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:41,124 every other slasher pretendsto get. 78 00:03:41,227 --> 00:03:43,400 So, no, I needto hear your thoughts. 79 00:03:46,572 --> 00:03:49,745 I'm sorry. I should not have asked you to go into that. 80 00:03:49,848 --> 00:03:51,848 -No, no, it's not that, it's not -- 81 00:03:54,124 --> 00:03:55,848 I've just never had a director make me feel 82 00:03:55,917 --> 00:03:58,089 like an equal before. -Oh. 83 00:03:58,193 --> 00:03:58,917 -And -- 84 00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:00,572 and not just a pretty face 85 00:04:00,676 --> 00:04:02,089 and a pair of tits, you know? 86 00:04:02,193 --> 00:04:04,227 -Well, that's a crime. I've always been a fan. 87 00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:06,710 I pitched you for the reboot from day one. 88 00:04:06,814 --> 00:04:09,089 Okay? -Wow. Well... 89 00:04:09,158 --> 00:04:10,917 Guess all it took for them to say yes 90 00:04:11,021 --> 00:04:13,917 was for me to become a final girl for real. 91 00:04:14,814 --> 00:04:16,021 -These just arrived for you, Paige. 92 00:04:16,124 --> 00:04:17,607 -Oh! -Thank you so much. 93 00:04:17,676 --> 00:04:19,986 These are beautiful. 94 00:04:20,089 --> 00:04:21,021 -Yeah. -Did you...? 95 00:04:21,089 --> 00:04:22,469 -No, I didn't. 96 00:04:22,986 --> 00:04:24,365 [Clears throat] 97 00:04:24,469 --> 00:04:26,848 -"Saw the news. Break a leg, but not really. 98 00:04:26,917 --> 00:04:30,193 You've got enough scars already. Andy." 99 00:04:30,296 --> 00:04:33,986 -Andy. From...? -[Paige chuckles] 100 00:04:34,055 --> 00:04:36,296 -Okay, Andy! 101 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,917 -Very sweet of him. -Mm-hm! 102 00:04:39,124 --> 00:04:44,469 [Bell tolls twice] 103 00:04:44,986 --> 00:04:48,158 -So, you can trace a straight line 104 00:04:48,262 --> 00:04:50,538 from the comedies of Euripides 105 00:04:50,641 --> 00:04:54,710 right up to the slapstick of Chaplin, Keaton, and Arbuckle. 106 00:04:54,952 --> 00:04:57,124 But -- where is it now? 107 00:04:57,227 --> 00:04:58,848 -It's, uh, changed genres. 108 00:04:58,952 --> 00:05:01,331 Action movies, for sure. 109 00:05:01,641 --> 00:05:03,158 -I like this. Tell me how. 110 00:05:03,227 --> 00:05:04,607 -Well it's all violence, right? 111 00:05:04,676 --> 00:05:07,331 Like comedians, just guys hitting each other. 112 00:05:07,676 --> 00:05:09,710 -Hmm. Yeah. And in the silents, they -- 113 00:05:09,779 --> 00:05:11,469 -They crank it up. 114 00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:14,986 Chaplin stabbing people with, like, the nastiest pitchforks 115 00:05:15,089 --> 00:05:16,641 and following it up with one liners 116 00:05:16,745 --> 00:05:19,400 like action heroes do. 117 00:05:19,469 --> 00:05:21,503 -Good. Great lateral thinking. 118 00:05:21,814 --> 00:05:23,434 -And then we get to horror. 119 00:05:24,193 --> 00:05:26,021 -You're cri de coeur. -Yeah. 120 00:05:26,124 --> 00:05:29,745 But, like, the final girls say the same thing 121 00:05:29,814 --> 00:05:31,262 when they kill the masked killer 122 00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:32,848 or when the dickhead gets taken down. 123 00:05:32,952 --> 00:05:34,124 -Yes, you've said this all before, 124 00:05:34,193 --> 00:05:36,503 but weare here to talk comedy. 125 00:05:36,572 --> 00:05:41,607 -But, Professor, we are here for your horror knowledge, sir. 126 00:05:43,227 --> 00:05:44,538 -Well, I'm sure you could all transfer out 127 00:05:44,641 --> 00:05:46,124 if I'm not matching your expectations. 128 00:05:46,227 --> 00:05:48,538 -What? You are an expert in horror 129 00:05:48,641 --> 00:05:50,021 in academia and real life. 130 00:05:50,124 --> 00:05:52,331 Why are you pretending like that's not true? 131 00:05:53,227 --> 00:05:54,607 -What do you want? Hmm? 132 00:05:54,676 --> 00:05:57,503 -What do you mean? -No, what do you want? Hm? 133 00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:59,296 You obsessive idiot. 134 00:05:59,365 --> 00:06:01,331 What do you want, a goddamn autograph? 135 00:06:01,434 --> 00:06:03,745 What, you want some grisly tidbit to -- 136 00:06:03,848 --> 00:06:05,607 to feed into your death fetish? 137 00:06:05,676 --> 00:06:10,641 Because humanity's saddest and worst instinct excites you? 138 00:06:10,710 --> 00:06:12,158 is that what you want? 139 00:06:15,848 --> 00:06:17,434 -Hey, that's mine! 140 00:06:19,262 --> 00:06:20,848 -All right. Get out, everyone. 141 00:06:21,365 --> 00:06:22,641 We're done for the day. 142 00:06:23,227 --> 00:06:26,021 -I will be speaking to the head of English about this. 143 00:06:26,952 --> 00:06:28,986 [Students chattering] 144 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,503 Asshole. 145 00:06:30,572 --> 00:06:33,055 [Students chattering] 146 00:06:47,572 --> 00:06:49,331 [Knocking at door] 147 00:06:49,434 --> 00:06:50,641 [Clinking] 148 00:06:52,952 --> 00:06:54,262 [Door opens] 149 00:06:54,365 --> 00:06:56,745 -Hi, Andy. Come in. 150 00:06:56,848 --> 00:07:00,124 -For the hostess. -Thank you so much. 151 00:07:01,331 --> 00:07:02,779 Can I take your coat? 152 00:07:02,848 --> 00:07:04,296 -Uh, sure. Thanks. 153 00:07:07,538 --> 00:07:08,745 -Look, sorry -- -So, listen -- 154 00:07:08,848 --> 00:07:10,227 -Sending those flowers was weird. 155 00:07:10,331 --> 00:07:11,676 -I know I should have reached out before now. 156 00:07:11,779 --> 00:07:14,021 Okay. Sorry. Can I start? Please? 157 00:07:14,262 --> 00:07:15,365 -Yeah. 158 00:07:17,434 --> 00:07:19,400 -I'm the asshole here. 159 00:07:19,469 --> 00:07:21,400 And you weren't weird at all. 160 00:07:21,469 --> 00:07:22,883 -You are not an asshole. 161 00:07:23,848 --> 00:07:25,400 -Sending those flowers was so thoughtful, 162 00:07:25,503 --> 00:07:28,124 and I could say that I was just so busy with the movie 163 00:07:28,193 --> 00:07:30,952 that I forgot to say thank you, but I just -- 164 00:07:31,021 --> 00:07:33,503 -I get it. I mean, you just wanted to put it behind you. 165 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,538 -That might sound more believable 166 00:07:35,641 --> 00:07:37,538 if I wasn't playing Caitlin again. 167 00:07:37,641 --> 00:07:39,745 -Hey, it's your job. There's no judgment. 168 00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:42,883 -Maybe a little judgment? Maybe? [laughs] 169 00:07:42,952 --> 00:07:44,917 It's fine. It's natural. 170 00:07:44,986 --> 00:07:46,917 -We all have to make a living. 171 00:07:46,986 --> 00:07:48,089 -Yeah. 172 00:07:50,021 --> 00:07:52,917 Anyways, um, we wrapped a few months ago, 173 00:07:52,986 --> 00:07:55,641 and there's actually a screening tomorrow night. 174 00:07:55,986 --> 00:07:56,779 -Oh. 175 00:07:56,848 --> 00:07:59,021 -And instead of avoiding you, 176 00:07:59,124 --> 00:08:03,503 I thought not only do I want to say thank you for the flowers 177 00:08:03,572 --> 00:08:06,848 with dinner and reconnect, but I thought you probably saw 178 00:08:06,917 --> 00:08:08,193 that the premiere is coming up 179 00:08:08,262 --> 00:08:09,848 as part of the Spinechiller showcase. 180 00:08:09,952 --> 00:08:11,710 -My algorithms wouldn't let me forget. 181 00:08:11,779 --> 00:08:14,503 -Yeah, well. It's your part of the news cycle. 182 00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:16,400 Good luck escaping it. 183 00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:20,193 And I thought... 184 00:08:20,262 --> 00:08:23,089 Maybe you want to come with me as my date. 185 00:08:24,021 --> 00:08:25,779 And -- and look, I promise it's nothing crazy, okay? 186 00:08:25,883 --> 00:08:30,434 I swear, there's no red carpet. It's just a genre critic sneak peek 187 00:08:30,503 --> 00:08:31,952 at a small venue, and -- 188 00:08:32,021 --> 00:08:33,676 and I would really love you to see it with me. 189 00:08:33,745 --> 00:08:36,641 I think you'd really appreciate what the filmmaker's done here. 190 00:08:36,745 --> 00:08:38,434 I really do. I mean it. 191 00:08:39,434 --> 00:08:42,227 Yeah, he's taken a lot of my input, and... 192 00:08:42,296 --> 00:08:45,193 it's more than just your standard slasher flick. 193 00:08:46,503 --> 00:08:48,814 It is. -Uh, can I -- 194 00:08:48,917 --> 00:08:51,124 Can I think on it? -Yeah. 195 00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:54,710 You can even say no, and I'd understand. 196 00:08:55,710 --> 00:08:56,745 [ Beeping ] 197 00:08:56,814 --> 00:08:58,952 Oh, shit. The stove. One sec. 198 00:09:00,503 --> 00:09:03,779 -Uh, can I help? 199 00:09:03,848 --> 00:09:05,779 -No, no, no. Um, you know what? 200 00:09:05,848 --> 00:09:08,227 Just open the wine, the glasses and the opener are on the credenza. 201 00:09:12,262 --> 00:09:15,055 Yeah. Subtle's never been a word 202 00:09:15,158 --> 00:09:16,745 to describe the "Doomed Service" merch. 203 00:09:16,814 --> 00:09:18,331 -You could kill someone with this. 204 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:22,124 -And Caitlin did in "Doomed Service 3: Peephole." 205 00:09:23,227 --> 00:09:26,193 I hope you like stir fry. I was supposed to be beef stew, 206 00:09:26,296 --> 00:09:27,952 but I waited too long to start cooking 207 00:09:28,055 --> 00:09:29,814 and I didn't want to serve you shoe leather. 208 00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:32,089 -Uh, you know, we could have ordered in. 209 00:09:32,158 --> 00:09:34,848 Still can, if this is too much. -No. 210 00:09:34,917 --> 00:09:37,676 You and I need something extra normal. 211 00:09:37,779 --> 00:09:39,365 And cooking really chills me out. 212 00:09:39,434 --> 00:09:42,193 -Ah. Cheers. -Cheers. 213 00:09:42,262 --> 00:09:48,227 -You know, the way you spoke about "Doomed Service," 214 00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:51,055 I gotta say -- 215 00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,434 I didn't expect all this. 216 00:09:53,503 --> 00:09:56,331 -Those films were my life since I was a teen. 217 00:09:56,434 --> 00:09:57,848 And now they are again. 218 00:09:57,917 --> 00:10:02,296 -Which is, uh -- well, a surprise, 219 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:03,848 -For me, too. 220 00:10:04,848 --> 00:10:07,883 I said no and then I said no again. 221 00:10:07,952 --> 00:10:10,055 And the third time I said no, they promised me 222 00:10:10,158 --> 00:10:12,503 I'd be a part of the entire new trilogy. 223 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,814 -An offer you couldn't refuse. -Yeah. 224 00:10:16,952 --> 00:10:19,193 I want to act. And if they're gonna give me 225 00:10:19,296 --> 00:10:20,917 a say in the kind of stories we tell, 226 00:10:20,986 --> 00:10:24,296 then maybe I just need to embrace it, right? 227 00:10:24,365 --> 00:10:30,434 ? 228 00:10:30,538 --> 00:10:31,779 Don't worry, okay? 229 00:10:31,883 --> 00:10:33,814 -What would I have to worry about? 230 00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,227 -After what we went through? 231 00:10:36,158 --> 00:10:39,400 -Oh, well, you and shovels, maybe. 232 00:10:39,917 --> 00:10:43,089 -And bathtubs. Don't forget bathtubs. 233 00:10:43,814 --> 00:10:45,986 -Oh, how could I forget? 234 00:10:51,538 --> 00:10:54,469 -So how about you? How have the past few months been? 235 00:10:54,538 --> 00:10:56,607 And again, I'm sorry that I didn't check in, okay? 236 00:10:56,710 --> 00:10:58,986 -Stop apologizing. Seriously. 237 00:10:59,089 --> 00:11:01,952 You know, if there's a correct way to maintain a friendship 238 00:11:02,055 --> 00:11:05,986 forged in the crucible of mass murder, I don't know it. [chuckles] 239 00:11:06,089 --> 00:11:07,641 -"Crucible of mass murder." 240 00:11:07,745 --> 00:11:09,607 There is that brain of yours. 241 00:11:09,676 --> 00:11:11,227 Tell me they've given you full tenure. 242 00:11:11,814 --> 00:11:14,469 -Ah, well, I would need a PhD for that. 243 00:11:14,572 --> 00:11:16,400 -But you specialize in true crime entertainment 244 00:11:16,503 --> 00:11:18,572 or however you put it, and -- 245 00:11:18,641 --> 00:11:21,331 and you're the survivor of the most infamous killing spree 246 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:22,503 since the Manson murders. 247 00:11:23,124 --> 00:11:26,538 That should at least qualify you for an honorary PhD, 248 00:11:26,607 --> 00:11:28,883 or at the very least, a humongous raise. 249 00:11:28,952 --> 00:11:30,572 -Uh-huh. -Right? 250 00:11:30,641 --> 00:11:33,227 -Well, life after Cold River has not been as lucrative for me 251 00:11:33,331 --> 00:11:34,745 as it has for you. 252 00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:39,193 I-I was not trying to shame you with that. 253 00:11:39,296 --> 00:11:40,952 I'm -- I'm glad you're doing well, I just -- 254 00:11:41,021 --> 00:11:44,158 We both deserve some kind of happiness after all that. 255 00:11:44,227 --> 00:11:49,331 It's -- it's just, uh... -What? 256 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,055 You can tell me anything. 257 00:11:52,158 --> 00:11:55,779 Hey, if there's anyone who's gonna get you or me, it's us. 258 00:11:57,814 --> 00:12:00,331 -S-sometimes I feel like I'm still there. 259 00:12:02,331 --> 00:12:04,434 Like something's unresolved. 260 00:12:06,158 --> 00:12:07,814 Do you ever feel like that? 261 00:12:09,227 --> 00:12:10,641 -No. 262 00:12:10,745 --> 00:12:13,262 -Just like -- what if we missed something? 263 00:12:13,331 --> 00:12:15,055 -Like? 264 00:12:15,158 --> 00:12:16,572 -I don't know, Floyd and Shirley. 265 00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:19,227 How do we know for sure it was them? 266 00:12:19,296 --> 00:12:20,814 -Because they killed everyone 267 00:12:20,883 --> 00:12:22,055 in that exact same spot 30 years ago. 268 00:12:22,124 --> 00:12:23,952 -Yes, 30 years ago, 269 00:12:24,055 --> 00:12:27,952 when they were younger and stronger and -- Kawayan, 270 00:12:28,021 --> 00:12:30,607 he -- he was a big guy, okay? 271 00:12:30,710 --> 00:12:32,400 He could take care of himself. 272 00:12:32,503 --> 00:12:34,331 You honestly believe that Floyd got the better of him? 273 00:12:34,434 --> 00:12:35,572 -Well, maybe it wasn't Floyd. 274 00:12:35,986 --> 00:12:39,262 -What, Shirley? That's even more unlikely. 275 00:12:39,607 --> 00:12:41,021 -Not if he didn't see it coming 276 00:12:41,124 --> 00:12:42,296 and he wouldn't have. 277 00:12:42,365 --> 00:12:43,883 Shirley pretended to be so nice. 278 00:12:43,986 --> 00:12:45,745 She got so close to me, 279 00:12:45,814 --> 00:12:47,538 and one stab in the neck is all it would have taken. 280 00:12:49,607 --> 00:12:52,503 Hey, listen, if we'd missed anything, 281 00:12:52,607 --> 00:12:54,055 the police would have found it by now. 282 00:12:54,710 --> 00:12:56,503 -Unless they weren't looking. 283 00:12:57,055 --> 00:12:58,365 And why would they? 284 00:12:58,469 --> 00:13:00,469 Floyd and Shirley, they tick all the boxes. 285 00:13:00,572 --> 00:13:02,676 It's easy. It shuts it down. 286 00:13:02,986 --> 00:13:05,641 -They tick all the boxes because they're guilty. 287 00:13:05,745 --> 00:13:10,124 Not you, not me, not some stranger in the woods. Them. 288 00:13:12,227 --> 00:13:13,538 Okay, you know what? Let's -- 289 00:13:13,641 --> 00:13:15,296 let's go through all the murders. 290 00:13:15,365 --> 00:13:18,296 Okay? Hemmingway. 291 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:19,641 They could have easily been the ones 292 00:13:19,710 --> 00:13:21,365 to boil him to death in the sauna. 293 00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:22,779 -Are you sure? I mean, they'd just arrived. 294 00:13:23,262 --> 00:13:24,779 -Yeah, but they'd already been there an hour by then, 295 00:13:24,883 --> 00:13:27,883 and they knew the hotel's layout. 296 00:13:27,986 --> 00:13:30,641 Portia and Crow, Anyone could have killed them. 297 00:13:30,745 --> 00:13:31,917 Floyd. 298 00:13:31,986 --> 00:13:34,469 He took part in killing Ruby, and he loved it. 299 00:13:34,538 --> 00:13:36,227 Kawayan, I still think it was Shirley 300 00:13:36,296 --> 00:13:37,469 the way she was sucking up to him. 301 00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:39,917 And Adriana, we were all in our separate rooms 302 00:13:40,021 --> 00:13:43,227 when she died, so they could have snuck out unnoticed easily. 303 00:13:43,710 --> 00:13:45,676 And when Blake was killed, same thing. 304 00:13:45,745 --> 00:13:48,710 Not to mention I found Floyd and Shirley the next morning, 305 00:13:48,814 --> 00:13:50,331 surrounded by the poor guy's remains. 306 00:13:50,434 --> 00:13:52,641 And the cherry on top? They tried to frame you. 307 00:13:52,710 --> 00:13:54,745 -Well, they did a pretty good job of that. 308 00:13:55,021 --> 00:13:57,365 -Andy, listen -- 309 00:13:57,434 --> 00:14:01,986 what you're feeling is not doubt. It's trauma. 310 00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:05,193 We lived in a fearful state for days. 311 00:14:05,296 --> 00:14:08,676 Trapped, while we watched people die horrible deaths. 312 00:14:08,779 --> 00:14:12,193 -You've -- you seem fine. -Don't believe it. 313 00:14:12,848 --> 00:14:14,365 I've been keeping busy. 314 00:14:14,986 --> 00:14:17,262 And the movie will keep me busy until we're out in theaters. 315 00:14:18,124 --> 00:14:20,055 And then maybe I'll fall apart after that. 316 00:14:20,572 --> 00:14:23,124 Or maybe I won't. Ever. Who knows? [chuckles] 317 00:14:25,055 --> 00:14:27,986 I do feel a strange victory over those two, though. 318 00:14:29,331 --> 00:14:30,641 And if the killer had gotten away -- 319 00:14:30,745 --> 00:14:33,055 -Well, that -- that's my worry. Always. 320 00:14:33,124 --> 00:14:35,262 -Then I would be looking out the window all the time. 321 00:14:35,469 --> 00:14:37,262 But -- but we did it, Andy. 322 00:14:37,779 --> 00:14:39,779 We put those two assholes in the ground. 323 00:14:39,883 --> 00:14:42,676 So please, please try and be happy, okay? 324 00:14:42,745 --> 00:14:44,538 Try and be happy about everything we have 325 00:14:44,641 --> 00:14:46,193 that we feared we'd lose. 326 00:14:47,572 --> 00:14:49,814 We owe that to the rest of them. 327 00:14:50,262 --> 00:14:51,607 Right? 328 00:14:53,572 --> 00:14:56,538 -Right. Yeah. You're right. 329 00:15:03,124 --> 00:15:05,986 -Something's still bothering you. 330 00:15:06,055 --> 00:15:07,986 -Hey, there's no secrets between us. 331 00:15:08,745 --> 00:15:10,848 You kept me sane, and you didn't have to, 332 00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:13,503 so please let me help you. 333 00:15:17,607 --> 00:15:21,227 -I just want to preface this by saying, 334 00:15:21,331 --> 00:15:24,124 I know people do things that don't make sense. 335 00:15:24,193 --> 00:15:26,469 -Yeah, obviously. I mean, I almost took a bath 336 00:15:26,572 --> 00:15:29,089 with a crazy lady I didn't know, so... 337 00:15:29,158 --> 00:15:31,572 Come on, what's the question? 338 00:15:32,952 --> 00:15:34,227 -Okay, fine. 339 00:15:36,021 --> 00:15:38,089 The drop down ceiling in your room -- 340 00:15:38,193 --> 00:15:41,124 after Floyd and Shirley, before the police arrived. 341 00:15:42,055 --> 00:15:45,676 I saw a stain. It was a blood stain. 342 00:15:47,538 --> 00:15:49,021 -And? 343 00:15:49,607 --> 00:15:52,779 -I looked behind the ceiling tile, and I -- 344 00:15:56,055 --> 00:15:57,676 I found a heart. 345 00:15:58,538 --> 00:16:01,848 -What? -Portia's, I guess. 346 00:16:02,848 --> 00:16:05,538 Like you'd hidden it as some sort of trophy or something. 347 00:16:05,641 --> 00:16:08,365 -I have no idea what you're talking about. 348 00:16:08,469 --> 00:16:11,227 -I saw with my own eyes, Paige. 349 00:16:11,296 --> 00:16:14,814 Okay? So denying it -- you can't because I know what I saw. 350 00:16:14,883 --> 00:16:18,641 -Well, I know what I didn't hide in my goddamn ceiling, Andy. 351 00:16:18,710 --> 00:16:20,021 Come on. 352 00:16:20,089 --> 00:16:22,055 I mean, could Adriana have done it? 353 00:16:22,124 --> 00:16:23,572 Maybe. Or -- 354 00:16:23,676 --> 00:16:26,193 Crow as some kind of, like, wacky magic thing. 355 00:16:26,262 --> 00:16:28,296 But -- but me? -Then why was it there? 356 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:30,745 And how did it get there? I didn't put it there. 357 00:16:30,814 --> 00:16:32,089 Portia definitely didn't. 358 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:33,607 -But Floyd and Shirley, 359 00:16:33,676 --> 00:16:35,814 maybe it was some kind of ritual thing, or... 360 00:16:37,469 --> 00:16:41,089 Or maybe the same way that they hid that book in your room, 361 00:16:41,158 --> 00:16:45,089 they hid Portia's heart in mine so that they could frame me 362 00:16:45,193 --> 00:16:47,193 if framing you didn't pan out. 363 00:16:50,848 --> 00:16:52,193 -Oh. 364 00:16:57,124 --> 00:16:59,607 Of course. Yeah. 365 00:17:00,814 --> 00:17:02,607 -Framing me actually makes a lot of sense, yeah. 366 00:17:02,676 --> 00:17:04,814 -God, I am so -- 367 00:17:04,883 --> 00:17:06,227 You're right. I'm so sorry. 368 00:17:06,331 --> 00:17:07,917 -So you thought I was collecting body parts 369 00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:09,365 like a serial killer, 370 00:17:09,434 --> 00:17:10,986 and you still came to meet me for dinner? 371 00:17:11,055 --> 00:17:12,607 -Honestly, I didn't know what to think. 372 00:17:12,676 --> 00:17:14,193 -Why -- why didn't you go to the police with this? 373 00:17:14,296 --> 00:17:15,917 -I couldn't. -Why -- if you thought I was 374 00:17:15,986 --> 00:17:17,952 some sick psychopath? -Because. 375 00:17:18,021 --> 00:17:20,710 -Why? -I knew I had to protect you. 376 00:17:28,952 --> 00:17:31,434 -Even if I put it there? 377 00:17:32,883 --> 00:17:34,676 Even if I was the real killer? 378 00:17:37,193 --> 00:17:38,641 -Even then. 379 00:17:38,745 --> 00:17:47,917 ? 380 00:17:48,021 --> 00:17:57,193 ? 381 00:17:57,262 --> 00:18:00,848 [Paige moans] 382 00:18:01,089 --> 00:18:10,814 ? 383 00:18:10,883 --> 00:18:13,917 [Moaning continues] 384 00:18:13,986 --> 00:18:23,917 ? 385 00:18:23,986 --> 00:18:34,021 ? 386 00:18:34,089 --> 00:18:36,365 -Remember that limo ride up? 387 00:18:36,917 --> 00:18:40,055 -The hearse? Yeah, it's hard to forget. 388 00:18:40,124 --> 00:18:44,710 -It was so ridiculously over the top. 389 00:18:46,607 --> 00:18:49,227 Arriving at that stupid motel, I -- 390 00:18:49,848 --> 00:18:51,779 I hated it. 391 00:18:52,434 --> 00:18:55,676 I hated myself, I hated how I caved for the money. 392 00:18:56,158 --> 00:18:58,055 -Yeah, how much did they pay you, anyway? 393 00:18:58,158 --> 00:18:59,503 -Not enough. -Oh. 394 00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:01,986 -I needed it, trust me. 395 00:19:03,469 --> 00:19:08,779 Everyone else was just so weird and -- pleasant 396 00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:11,745 and self-involved... -And opportunistic. 397 00:19:11,814 --> 00:19:13,158 -And we weren't? 398 00:19:13,227 --> 00:19:14,676 -But we were different. 399 00:19:15,641 --> 00:19:19,814 I was there for research, and, despite your pay day, 400 00:19:19,917 --> 00:19:22,952 you seemed to be there to atone for your part in things. 401 00:19:23,710 --> 00:19:25,848 -That's a way of putting it, I guess. Maybe. 402 00:19:27,158 --> 00:19:29,055 It ended up that way, in the end. 403 00:19:29,572 --> 00:19:31,503 -Maybe that's why we survived. 404 00:19:32,331 --> 00:19:34,641 'Cause we didn't deserve to be killed. 405 00:19:37,227 --> 00:19:38,952 -There's no moral code. 406 00:19:39,710 --> 00:19:42,917 We survived because we worked together 407 00:19:42,986 --> 00:19:44,572 and we beat those psychos. 408 00:19:44,952 --> 00:19:46,779 -if they'd killed you, I don't know what I'd do. 409 00:19:46,883 --> 00:19:48,814 -Well, you wouldn't be doing this, that's for sure. 410 00:19:48,917 --> 00:19:50,262 [Both laugh] 411 00:19:50,331 --> 00:19:52,365 -True. 412 00:19:52,469 --> 00:19:53,917 -What's that they say about the connection 413 00:19:54,021 --> 00:19:57,296 between death and sex? -No, this is different. 414 00:19:58,848 --> 00:20:00,434 I'm glad I found you. 415 00:20:00,503 --> 00:20:02,296 -Glad I found you, too. 416 00:20:09,055 --> 00:20:11,331 So, tonight -- 417 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,469 You never gave me an answer. 418 00:20:13,572 --> 00:20:16,538 -I mean, I'm kind of a completionist, 419 00:20:16,607 --> 00:20:18,296 and I have seen all the other movies. 420 00:20:18,365 --> 00:20:20,745 -Yay! Okay. [laughing] 421 00:20:20,848 --> 00:20:22,745 Now, okay, if you get freaked out, 422 00:20:22,848 --> 00:20:24,469 all you have to remember is that the blood 423 00:20:24,572 --> 00:20:26,952 is just food coloring and corn syrup. 424 00:20:27,021 --> 00:20:28,814 And all the knives are made out of rubber, okay? 425 00:20:29,572 --> 00:20:31,883 -Can you, uh, tell me what I'm in store for, 426 00:20:31,986 --> 00:20:33,779 at least, plot wise? I mean, they're gonna 427 00:20:33,848 --> 00:20:36,124 incorporate Floyd and Shirley, right? 428 00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:39,710 And if you're still alive, let me guess... 429 00:20:40,434 --> 00:20:42,365 After being murdered in the last movie, 430 00:20:42,469 --> 00:20:46,710 Caitlin is brought back by some kind of spell. 431 00:20:47,434 --> 00:20:50,572 And so now she has her own supernatural powers. 432 00:20:50,676 --> 00:20:53,365 The perfect match against Baphomet. 433 00:20:53,434 --> 00:20:55,607 And since it's a trilogy, 434 00:20:55,710 --> 00:20:58,641 it appears like she vanquishes Baphomet. 435 00:20:58,745 --> 00:21:02,917 Except right at the end, he lurches up, alive again. 436 00:21:04,021 --> 00:21:05,710 I'm close, right? 437 00:21:05,779 --> 00:21:07,641 -No. Not even! 438 00:21:07,710 --> 00:21:09,572 Are you sure you want me to spoil it? -Yes. 439 00:21:10,021 --> 00:21:12,676 -Okay. So, first off, only "Doomed Service" 440 00:21:12,779 --> 00:21:14,262 I and II are considered canon now. 441 00:21:14,365 --> 00:21:15,814 Everything after them never happened. 442 00:21:15,883 --> 00:21:18,607 So this is really more like a new "DS3" 443 00:21:18,710 --> 00:21:21,538 and Caitlin is just still alive. 444 00:21:21,607 --> 00:21:23,021 -I hate that. That's -- 445 00:21:23,089 --> 00:21:25,434 No, that's such a disservice to the franchise. 446 00:21:25,503 --> 00:21:27,021 -Says the guy crapping all over them. 447 00:21:27,089 --> 00:21:29,779 -No, I only took issue with the real life aspects 448 00:21:29,883 --> 00:21:31,089 they distorted. 449 00:21:31,503 --> 00:21:33,331 Movies themselves are actually kind of fun. 450 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,365 -[laughs] Okay, can I get that on record? 451 00:21:36,469 --> 00:21:38,745 Hello?! They're supposed to be fun. 452 00:21:38,814 --> 00:21:40,745 But I guess all those endless sequels 453 00:21:40,848 --> 00:21:42,641 weren't exactly cinematic gems. 454 00:21:42,745 --> 00:21:44,883 -No, but they have their charms. 455 00:21:44,952 --> 00:21:47,676 So this must take place years later, then. 456 00:21:48,089 --> 00:21:51,227 -Yeah. And since it's a reboot and not just a sequel, 457 00:21:51,331 --> 00:21:53,089 and this is what really sold me, 458 00:21:53,193 --> 00:21:56,469 we discovered that Caitlin actually has a daughter. 459 00:21:57,538 --> 00:21:59,917 Someone young and hot to draw in all the fanboys. 460 00:22:00,434 --> 00:22:02,193 -The real Caitlin didn't have a daughter. 461 00:22:02,296 --> 00:22:04,262 -No, but everyone loves a final girl. 462 00:22:04,365 --> 00:22:05,607 Now they have two. 463 00:22:06,089 --> 00:22:07,607 And if that wasn't enough, we discover that Baphomet 464 00:22:07,710 --> 00:22:10,710 is actually Caitlin's first husband. 465 00:22:10,814 --> 00:22:12,986 She really broke his heart when she left him for that Joey dude. 466 00:22:13,055 --> 00:22:16,607 -Okay, but the ex-husband in real life was cleared. 467 00:22:16,676 --> 00:22:19,158 I mean, not after being hounded into an early grave... 468 00:22:19,262 --> 00:22:20,779 -Well, this ain't real life. 469 00:22:20,883 --> 00:22:23,641 And in our movie, he is alive and back for revenge. 470 00:22:23,710 --> 00:22:26,296 I really have to hand it to the team. 471 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:27,641 Clutches at the heartstrings. 472 00:22:27,710 --> 00:22:29,365 -No, clutches at the purse strings. 473 00:22:29,434 --> 00:22:32,745 I can't believe they're mining a horrible tragedy all over again. 474 00:22:33,503 --> 00:22:36,986 -Andy, just watch it tonight, okay? 475 00:22:37,089 --> 00:22:38,503 See what you think. 476 00:22:38,607 --> 00:22:39,779 'Cause if it does well, 477 00:22:39,848 --> 00:22:41,745 critically and at the box office, 478 00:22:41,814 --> 00:22:44,262 this could mean an entirely revived career for me. 479 00:22:45,193 --> 00:22:47,848 I could get some amazing parts and put Caitlin behind me, 480 00:22:47,952 --> 00:22:50,227 and everything that we went through would have almost been -- 481 00:22:50,331 --> 00:22:51,952 -Worth it? 482 00:22:56,469 --> 00:22:58,676 -Why don't we grab some sleep, okay? 483 00:22:59,262 --> 00:23:00,952 It's gonna be a long night. 484 00:23:05,193 --> 00:23:11,055 ? 485 00:23:13,021 --> 00:23:16,434 -From Nick and Sam at Shudder to David at Hollywood Suite, 486 00:23:16,538 --> 00:23:19,572 we all knew the only way we could make 487 00:23:19,641 --> 00:23:22,434 the new "Doomed Service" slay [laughs] was if we stuck to 488 00:23:22,538 --> 00:23:25,952 the OG history of the crazy murders 489 00:23:26,021 --> 00:23:28,779 that made these movies what they are. 490 00:23:29,124 --> 00:23:32,296 And that is the bloodiest, 491 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:35,883 raunchiest horror sleaze flicks around! 492 00:23:35,986 --> 00:23:36,917 Yasss! 493 00:23:37,021 --> 00:23:40,193 [Applause] 494 00:23:43,676 --> 00:23:47,193 So -- do you really want that gross out gore, 495 00:23:47,296 --> 00:23:52,055 that crazy violence, and that yummy tingle down there? 496 00:23:52,158 --> 00:23:54,021 I know you do. 497 00:23:54,089 --> 00:23:56,917 Then you got to cast someone who can run in a G-string and heels 498 00:23:56,986 --> 00:23:58,917 and strut blood like a second skin. 499 00:23:59,021 --> 00:24:04,193 Yeah, I'm talking about a gal who is always too hot to die, 500 00:24:04,262 --> 00:24:07,089 the number one sleaze queen in the world -- 501 00:24:07,814 --> 00:24:09,814 Paige Harper. 502 00:24:09,883 --> 00:24:12,365 [Cheers and applause] 503 00:24:12,434 --> 00:24:14,848 -Thank you. -Fan: I love you! 504 00:24:14,952 --> 00:24:16,538 -I love you! 505 00:24:17,745 --> 00:24:19,676 Thank you guys so much for being here. 506 00:24:19,745 --> 00:24:20,952 -Thank you, Aaron. -Yeah! 507 00:24:21,021 --> 00:24:22,365 -I'm really glad my mom's not here 508 00:24:22,469 --> 00:24:25,745 to hear me described like that. [Laughter] 509 00:24:25,814 --> 00:24:29,538 -I know you all know that I had to take a little break. 510 00:24:29,607 --> 00:24:31,641 A chance to sit a "Doomed Service" out. 511 00:24:31,710 --> 00:24:33,986 There was only so much blood this gal could have gushed on her. 512 00:24:34,089 --> 00:24:36,193 [Laughter] 513 00:24:37,434 --> 00:24:41,676 But after I lived through the real Cold River massacre, 514 00:24:41,745 --> 00:24:42,952 I realized something. 515 00:24:43,021 --> 00:24:45,745 I am Caitlin. 516 00:24:46,124 --> 00:24:47,469 No, no, I'm better. 517 00:24:47,572 --> 00:24:49,089 Because this mama didn't die. 518 00:24:49,158 --> 00:24:50,193 -Fan: Oh, yeah! 519 00:24:50,296 --> 00:24:51,641 -And armed with that experience, 520 00:24:51,745 --> 00:24:54,158 I knew deep down in my blood soaked heart 521 00:24:54,262 --> 00:24:56,641 that I had to come back to my "Doomed Service" family 522 00:24:56,710 --> 00:25:00,848 and kick some Baphomet butt, because Caitlin is -- 523 00:25:00,952 --> 00:25:02,607 say it with me now, please. 524 00:25:02,676 --> 00:25:06,676 -Caitlin is -- -All: Too hot to die! 525 00:25:06,779 --> 00:25:09,607 [Cheers and applause] 526 00:25:09,676 --> 00:25:11,503 -Yeah. -And just one more thing -- 527 00:25:11,572 --> 00:25:13,296 -Yeah, okay. -One more thing -- 528 00:25:13,365 --> 00:25:16,193 I think you deserve to hear it from me here first. 529 00:25:16,262 --> 00:25:17,883 Not only is Caitlin back, 530 00:25:17,952 --> 00:25:19,848 you get to have her for three 531 00:25:19,952 --> 00:25:22,021 horny, blood soaked movies! 532 00:25:22,089 --> 00:25:23,331 [Cheers and applause] 533 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:26,917 -Thank you. -Yes! Thank you, yeah. 534 00:25:27,021 --> 00:25:30,296 We are indeed. We are indeed doing a trilogy. Yes! 535 00:25:30,365 --> 00:25:32,193 -Yeah! -Uh, but... 536 00:25:32,296 --> 00:25:37,365 what none of you know is that Caitlin had a daughter. 537 00:25:37,469 --> 00:25:38,400 -Mm-hm. 538 00:25:38,986 --> 00:25:40,469 -We were gonna surprise you during the screening, 539 00:25:40,538 --> 00:25:42,641 but the cat's out of the bag, so -- 540 00:25:42,710 --> 00:25:48,745 let's welcome to the stage Paula Lynde! 541 00:25:48,814 --> 00:25:51,848 [Cheers and applause] 542 00:25:52,124 --> 00:25:57,296 ? 543 00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:00,434 I present to you our next leading lady, 544 00:26:00,538 --> 00:26:05,676 Caitlin's long lost daughter -- Emma! 545 00:26:05,745 --> 00:26:08,814 [Cheers and applause] 546 00:26:20,089 --> 00:26:22,124 -Oh, my. 547 00:26:22,227 --> 00:26:23,676 I have to say, 548 00:26:23,779 --> 00:26:26,331 being drenched in your love is almost as good 549 00:26:26,434 --> 00:26:28,089 as being drenched in blood. 550 00:26:28,158 --> 00:26:31,400 [Cheers and applause] 551 00:26:42,124 --> 00:26:43,986 [Ominous music plays] 552 00:26:44,055 --> 00:26:45,434 -He's coming this way! 553 00:26:45,503 --> 00:26:49,848 ? 554 00:26:49,917 --> 00:26:52,400 -Caitlin! Don't go down there! 555 00:26:52,503 --> 00:26:56,469 ? 556 00:26:56,538 --> 00:27:04,917 ? 557 00:27:04,986 --> 00:27:06,503 -Caitlin: Fight me, Baphomet! 558 00:27:10,917 --> 00:27:12,779 That's right, I'm back! 559 00:27:14,917 --> 00:27:19,365 And I hate to break it to ya, but you're not too hot to die! 560 00:27:19,469 --> 00:27:22,607 [Caitlin screaming] 561 00:27:23,572 --> 00:27:25,158 You know, for an arch-demon in the underworld, 562 00:27:25,227 --> 00:27:26,641 you sure are dumb. 563 00:27:27,158 --> 00:27:28,917 'Cause I got my soul machete back -- 564 00:27:29,021 --> 00:27:30,538 [Audience cheers] 565 00:27:30,641 --> 00:27:33,055 And she's horny for demon guts! 566 00:27:33,124 --> 00:27:36,779 ? 567 00:27:36,883 --> 00:27:39,055 [Caitlin roaring] 568 00:27:39,124 --> 00:27:42,055 ? 569 00:27:42,158 --> 00:27:43,883 [Screaming] 570 00:27:44,745 --> 00:27:45,745 [Gasps] 571 00:27:47,745 --> 00:27:54,779 ? 572 00:27:54,848 --> 00:28:01,986 ? 573 00:28:02,055 --> 00:28:09,124 ? 574 00:28:09,227 --> 00:28:10,434 [Door thuds shut] 575 00:28:11,572 --> 00:28:12,779 -That was notwhat we shot. 576 00:28:12,848 --> 00:28:14,365 They told me I'd be in all three, 577 00:28:14,469 --> 00:28:15,607 but they chopped my goddamn head off 578 00:28:15,710 --> 00:28:16,986 using a body double. -Paige -- 579 00:28:17,055 --> 00:28:18,331 -And -- and they didn't even have the guts 580 00:28:18,434 --> 00:28:19,917 to call me in for a re-shoot. 581 00:28:19,986 --> 00:28:21,400 Which -- which tells you how shifty it all is, right? 582 00:28:21,469 --> 00:28:22,883 -Look, I know it doesn't feel like it, 583 00:28:22,986 --> 00:28:24,227 but you wanted to put Caitlin behind you. 584 00:28:24,296 --> 00:28:26,124 -On myterms, Andy. Mine. 585 00:28:26,193 --> 00:28:31,193 ? 586 00:28:31,262 --> 00:28:32,641 What the hell was that? 587 00:28:32,745 --> 00:28:34,434 Do you know how humiliating that was? 588 00:28:34,503 --> 00:28:36,641 To have my part reduced to a tiny bit like that? 589 00:28:36,710 --> 00:28:38,641 -You lied to me. -No, I did not lie-- -Yes, you did. 590 00:28:38,745 --> 00:28:40,227 -You lied to me. -No, I did not lie -- 591 00:28:40,331 --> 00:28:41,917 Yes, you did lie. And you promised me. 592 00:28:41,986 --> 00:28:44,055 -I promised you I would do all I could. We all did, okay? 593 00:28:44,158 --> 00:28:46,434 But when we tested the movie, Paula Lynde was just, 594 00:28:46,503 --> 00:28:48,469 she was -- she's off the charts. 595 00:28:49,089 --> 00:28:50,814 -I had that audience eating out of the palm of my hand. 596 00:28:50,917 --> 00:28:53,227 -Yeah, and you're gonna bring them back, okay? 597 00:28:53,331 --> 00:28:56,331 But she's gonna make them stay. She's -- 598 00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:57,917 She's a star. 599 00:29:03,055 --> 00:29:05,538 I'm so -- I'm sorry. 600 00:29:07,917 --> 00:29:10,469 -Well, you will be. All of you. 601 00:29:10,538 --> 00:29:11,641 'Cause you're going to be getting calls 602 00:29:11,745 --> 00:29:13,883 from my agents and my lawyers. 603 00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:17,710 -Okay. No. 604 00:29:18,883 --> 00:29:21,676 Yeah, you -- you do whatever you have to do. 605 00:29:24,814 --> 00:29:30,607 Oh -- Wow, Andy, uh, it is such an honor. 606 00:29:30,676 --> 00:29:32,986 -Get the fuck out of my face, asshole. 607 00:29:36,538 --> 00:29:38,089 [Door shuts] 608 00:29:43,710 --> 00:29:44,952 Let's get out of here. 609 00:29:45,055 --> 00:29:46,296 -And do what? Go where? 610 00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:47,814 Go -- go-- go back to my apartment and -- 611 00:29:47,883 --> 00:29:49,331 and stare at a phone that's never gonna ring? 612 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:50,365 -You are too good for this garbage. 613 00:29:50,434 --> 00:29:51,365 -No, I'm not. 614 00:29:51,434 --> 00:29:53,331 I'm not, Andy. 615 00:29:53,434 --> 00:29:55,848 Just like you're not too good for your college. 616 00:29:57,365 --> 00:29:59,365 -Who am I if I'm not Caitlin? 617 00:29:59,434 --> 00:30:01,848 If I'm not a goddamn final girl? 618 00:30:01,917 --> 00:30:07,089 ? 619 00:30:07,158 --> 00:30:12,365 ? 620 00:30:12,469 --> 00:30:13,538 [Door thuds shut] 621 00:30:13,607 --> 00:30:17,986 ? 622 00:30:19,641 --> 00:30:22,227 -Emma: I promise you, Mama. 623 00:30:22,296 --> 00:30:25,158 Baphomet may have gotten away -- 624 00:30:25,227 --> 00:30:27,331 but I will avenge your death. 625 00:30:27,434 --> 00:30:36,676 ? 626 00:30:36,745 --> 00:30:38,607 -You okay? 627 00:30:40,021 --> 00:30:41,814 -Might as well see what stupid thing they do 628 00:30:41,917 --> 00:30:43,469 to my severed head. 629 00:30:43,572 --> 00:30:45,883 ? 630 00:30:45,986 --> 00:30:48,469 -Emma: I may have just found you -- 631 00:30:48,745 --> 00:30:51,021 but now I'll never forget you. 632 00:30:51,089 --> 00:30:55,503 ? 633 00:30:55,607 --> 00:30:57,296 No one will. 634 00:30:59,952 --> 00:31:03,124 [Eerie music] 635 00:31:03,227 --> 00:31:08,710 ? 636 00:31:08,814 --> 00:31:12,021 [Sound warping] 637 00:31:13,710 --> 00:31:16,952 [Audience chattering] 638 00:31:21,710 --> 00:31:24,952 -Got you! [laughs] 639 00:31:25,021 --> 00:31:26,676 -That's the real Caitlin. 640 00:31:28,021 --> 00:31:29,572 Did they put her in the movie? 641 00:31:29,952 --> 00:31:31,607 -I don't know. 642 00:31:32,952 --> 00:31:35,469 -I just can't believe this is my life. 643 00:31:38,158 --> 00:31:41,193 You again? -Who's that? 644 00:31:42,089 --> 00:31:46,296 -Videoing me when I'm so happy I might break! 645 00:31:47,365 --> 00:31:49,917 -The most beautiful woman in the world. 646 00:31:49,986 --> 00:31:52,572 -Well, you are a flatterer. [Both laughing] 647 00:31:53,331 --> 00:31:56,227 -These are cold, hard facts, people. 648 00:31:56,848 --> 00:31:58,089 [Static buzzes] 649 00:31:59,883 --> 00:32:01,745 -Oh -- those are the real photos. 650 00:32:01,848 --> 00:32:06,676 ? 651 00:32:06,745 --> 00:32:08,883 -These photos -- I mean -- 652 00:32:08,952 --> 00:32:14,158 [Laughs] Maybe this crime scene photographer is a wizard. 653 00:32:14,262 --> 00:32:16,021 He's an artist. Can you believe this? 654 00:32:16,124 --> 00:32:19,952 -Paige: That's Blake. -Fan: Oh my God. 655 00:32:20,055 --> 00:32:21,434 -Andy: That's Adriana. 656 00:32:21,538 --> 00:32:24,538 Jesus. -What the hell is going on? 657 00:32:24,607 --> 00:32:26,193 -That bastard. 658 00:32:26,296 --> 00:32:34,365 ? 659 00:32:34,434 --> 00:32:37,021 Where is he? He needs to turn the shit off. 660 00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:40,883 -Hey, where is the projection booth? 661 00:32:40,986 --> 00:32:42,124 -Did you take our crime scene photos 662 00:32:42,227 --> 00:32:43,469 and put them in the movie? 663 00:32:43,538 --> 00:32:44,779 -I don't want that crap in my movie. 664 00:32:44,848 --> 00:32:46,089 Do you know where the booth is? 665 00:32:46,158 --> 00:32:46,986 -Well, shouldn't it be over there? 666 00:32:48,021 --> 00:32:49,986 I'm gonna go look for the lights. -Okay. 667 00:32:50,193 --> 00:32:55,365 ? 668 00:32:55,434 --> 00:33:02,021 ? 669 00:33:02,124 --> 00:33:03,055 [Pounding door] 670 00:33:03,124 --> 00:33:04,296 -Hey! Open the door! 671 00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:07,296 [Pounding continues] 672 00:33:09,262 --> 00:33:10,814 Get that out of my eyes! 673 00:33:11,469 --> 00:33:13,227 [Metallic swoosh] Oh... 674 00:33:13,641 --> 00:33:17,193 ? 675 00:33:19,055 --> 00:33:21,089 -Fan: Why are we watching this? 676 00:33:27,158 --> 00:33:29,917 [Aaron coughing] 677 00:33:30,021 --> 00:33:33,227 [Audience cheers and applauds] 678 00:33:34,158 --> 00:33:36,986 [Aaron groaning] 679 00:33:37,055 --> 00:33:39,400 -What I like about murder art is -- 680 00:33:39,779 --> 00:33:43,089 It's that staring at a car crash impulse. 681 00:33:44,158 --> 00:33:45,710 And let's admit it -- 682 00:33:46,227 --> 00:33:48,745 there's a killer in all of us, right? 683 00:33:48,814 --> 00:33:50,538 [Aaron groaning] 684 00:33:50,607 --> 00:33:53,710 [Cheers and applause] 685 00:33:56,503 --> 00:33:58,158 -Help... 686 00:33:58,676 --> 00:33:59,710 [Paige gasps] 687 00:34:00,158 --> 00:34:02,641 [Aaron mumbling] 688 00:34:02,917 --> 00:34:03,779 [Scattered screams] 689 00:34:03,848 --> 00:34:10,883 ? 690 00:34:10,986 --> 00:34:13,089 Aah! 691 00:34:13,331 --> 00:34:16,572 [Audience screaming] 692 00:34:22,814 --> 00:34:25,572 [Aaron straining] 693 00:34:28,296 --> 00:34:33,676 ? 694 00:34:33,779 --> 00:34:35,365 -Paige: Oh my God. 695 00:34:50,917 --> 00:34:54,641 -You -- you were back there. Back there alone with Aaron. 696 00:34:54,745 --> 00:34:55,676 -And so were you. 697 00:34:55,779 --> 00:34:56,641 -Stay back. Stay back! 698 00:34:56,710 --> 00:34:58,434 ? 699 00:34:58,538 --> 00:35:00,986 -Paige, I didn't do this. -Then who did? 700 00:35:01,503 --> 00:35:03,158 This was your plan all along, wasn't it? 701 00:35:03,676 --> 00:35:06,538 Get us up there. Cut us off. Pick us off one by one. 702 00:35:06,641 --> 00:35:08,262 -So I could go to jail for the rest of my life? 703 00:35:08,365 --> 00:35:10,089 -No, because then Floyd and Shirley showed up. 704 00:35:10,193 --> 00:35:11,607 -Which I had nothing to do with. 705 00:35:11,676 --> 00:35:13,676 -You got them to take the blame for you. 706 00:35:13,779 --> 00:35:16,158 Even asking me about that heart in my ceiling, 707 00:35:16,227 --> 00:35:17,917 just to throw me off your scent. 708 00:35:18,434 --> 00:35:20,538 -You're the scent. 709 00:35:20,641 --> 00:35:23,814 You killed everyone to make yourself relevant again. 710 00:35:23,917 --> 00:35:26,296 But then you found out you got killed off, and, 711 00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:29,331 oh, you didn't like that. So your true colors came out. 712 00:35:29,986 --> 00:35:30,883 -I'm not a murderer. 713 00:35:30,986 --> 00:35:32,607 -No, you're an actor! 714 00:35:34,641 --> 00:35:36,848 What are you doing? -I'm making sure he's okay. 715 00:35:36,952 --> 00:35:39,883 -You sliced him with a machete, of course he's not okay! 716 00:35:39,952 --> 00:35:47,193 ? 717 00:35:47,296 --> 00:35:49,021 -What were you trying to prove? 718 00:35:49,503 --> 00:35:52,227 With those bits you added at the end, huh? 719 00:35:53,055 --> 00:35:54,917 -How could I have pulled that off? 720 00:35:56,227 --> 00:35:58,917 -Well, you interviewed everyone involved with the movies. 721 00:36:01,227 --> 00:36:03,814 Maybe you're pals with the editor. 722 00:36:03,883 --> 00:36:05,365 Is he dead, too? 723 00:36:05,779 --> 00:36:07,158 -I'm not gonna let you turn me into 724 00:36:07,262 --> 00:36:09,469 one of your -- your cover stories. 725 00:36:11,124 --> 00:36:12,227 -I read everything you've written 726 00:36:12,296 --> 00:36:14,262 on these movies and the murders. 727 00:36:14,848 --> 00:36:16,400 You know, because I -- I was interested 728 00:36:16,469 --> 00:36:18,710 in getting to know the guy who saved my life. 729 00:36:21,158 --> 00:36:23,089 They were pretty damn obsessive, Andy. 730 00:36:23,158 --> 00:36:25,779 -[chuckles] From -- from the woman who lives and breathes 731 00:36:25,848 --> 00:36:28,055 the only character she's ever played? 732 00:36:28,503 --> 00:36:31,572 So much so that she goes on some method slaughter fest? 733 00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:34,986 -Any actor worth their salt can sense 734 00:36:35,089 --> 00:36:36,745 how their scene partner is doing. 735 00:36:38,883 --> 00:36:39,986 And you... 736 00:36:40,883 --> 00:36:44,089 You held your breath every time Caitlin was on screen. 737 00:36:44,158 --> 00:36:46,400 Every time. 738 00:36:46,469 --> 00:36:48,296 -Because I'd never seen those videos before. 739 00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:49,952 -Bullshit. 740 00:36:51,124 --> 00:36:53,124 They're from your sick little personal collection, 741 00:36:53,193 --> 00:36:54,503 aren't they? 742 00:36:58,641 --> 00:37:00,055 You in love with her? -No. 743 00:37:00,124 --> 00:37:01,400 -No? 744 00:37:01,469 --> 00:37:02,883 You didn't show up with your wine 745 00:37:02,986 --> 00:37:04,296 and talk a good game 746 00:37:04,365 --> 00:37:05,469 just so you could fuck the fake Caitlin? 747 00:37:05,572 --> 00:37:07,676 -Shut your dirty goddamn mouth! 748 00:37:08,227 --> 00:37:09,745 -Bullseye. 749 00:37:10,434 --> 00:37:12,607 -The real Caitlin 750 00:37:12,676 --> 00:37:15,676 was nothinglike you. 751 00:37:16,952 --> 00:37:22,158 -You've turned her into a bloody soft-core wet T-shirt joke. 752 00:37:22,262 --> 00:37:24,538 She was a special woman. 753 00:37:24,607 --> 00:37:26,986 And it was obvious from those videos. 754 00:37:27,055 --> 00:37:28,538 They were a private glimpse 755 00:37:28,607 --> 00:37:30,434 into a woman you've disrespected. 756 00:37:31,055 --> 00:37:34,952 And for you to make that some cheap and sexual thing -- 757 00:37:35,021 --> 00:37:38,572 -Oh my God. Oh my God. 758 00:37:41,055 --> 00:37:43,055 You were in love with her. 759 00:37:45,572 --> 00:37:49,641 -I did. I did love her. 760 00:37:52,124 --> 00:37:53,779 -She was your mother. 761 00:37:54,227 --> 00:37:55,676 Oh... 762 00:37:56,469 --> 00:37:58,538 That's why you killed everyone. 763 00:37:58,641 --> 00:38:04,365 ? 764 00:38:04,469 --> 00:38:06,331 - Youkilled everyone. 765 00:38:06,434 --> 00:38:07,538 -No, I didn't. 766 00:38:07,641 --> 00:38:10,745 -Same way you drowned Shirley, 767 00:38:10,848 --> 00:38:13,814 chopped Floyd's head off with a goddamn shovel. 768 00:38:14,538 --> 00:38:17,089 -It was you. 769 00:38:17,158 --> 00:38:22,055 Just like you would do to anyone that didn't worship you! 770 00:38:23,434 --> 00:38:24,952 [Paige roars] 771 00:38:37,262 --> 00:38:38,641 You... 772 00:38:39,434 --> 00:38:41,021 [Andy groans] 773 00:38:41,469 --> 00:38:44,676 [Paige crying] 774 00:38:47,365 --> 00:38:50,262 -Oh my God! Andy! 775 00:38:50,365 --> 00:38:51,745 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 776 00:38:51,814 --> 00:38:54,331 I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 777 00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:56,883 I'm so sorry. You gave me no choice. 778 00:38:56,952 --> 00:39:00,021 [Paige sobbing] 779 00:39:00,503 --> 00:39:02,262 You must have hated me. 780 00:39:02,331 --> 00:39:05,021 You must have hated me for playing her. 781 00:39:05,089 --> 00:39:07,331 -I hated that. 782 00:39:07,434 --> 00:39:08,986 Everyone thought she was you. 783 00:39:09,089 --> 00:39:10,607 I know. 784 00:39:11,227 --> 00:39:12,572 -But then you... 785 00:39:13,503 --> 00:39:19,952 You -- then you changed my mind about you. 786 00:39:22,124 --> 00:39:23,434 [Paige sobs] 787 00:39:24,158 --> 00:39:27,848 -I'm. Sorry. I'm so sorry. I-I never considered 788 00:39:27,917 --> 00:39:29,400 how much those movies would have hurt everyone 789 00:39:29,469 --> 00:39:30,848 everyone who knew the real Caitlin. 790 00:39:30,917 --> 00:39:33,779 I'm so sorry for my part. I'm so sorry. 791 00:39:33,883 --> 00:39:35,538 Please, please, believe me. Please. 792 00:39:35,607 --> 00:39:38,158 [Andy groans] -Everyone freeze! Now! 793 00:39:38,227 --> 00:39:39,607 -Please, you have to believe me. 794 00:39:39,676 --> 00:39:41,365 You have to believe me. You have to believe me. 795 00:39:41,469 --> 00:39:43,193 Please forgive me. Please forgive me. -Cop: Don't move! 796 00:39:43,262 --> 00:39:44,538 Let me see your hands! 797 00:39:44,641 --> 00:39:48,124 Hands! -Help me! 798 00:39:48,503 --> 00:39:51,227 -Andy! -She's trying to kill me. -Andy, no! 799 00:39:51,296 --> 00:39:52,814 -Andy: She killed him! -No! 800 00:39:52,917 --> 00:39:54,917 -Andy: And everyone at the Cold River Motel! 801 00:39:54,986 --> 00:39:57,055 -Jesus, Andy, tell them the truth! 802 00:39:58,814 --> 00:40:00,089 -Drop it! 803 00:40:00,572 --> 00:40:01,848 -Cop: Drop the knife! 804 00:40:01,952 --> 00:40:04,158 [Gunfire] 805 00:40:04,262 --> 00:40:05,607 -Oh! [Knife clanks] 806 00:40:05,676 --> 00:40:12,607 ? 807 00:40:12,676 --> 00:40:22,365 ? 808 00:40:22,434 --> 00:40:24,641 -It's over, isn't it? 809 00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:29,745 Final girl. 810 00:40:29,814 --> 00:40:34,986 ? 811 00:40:35,089 --> 00:40:36,952 -See you in Hell. 812 00:40:37,055 --> 00:40:45,193 ? 813 00:40:45,296 --> 00:40:53,710 ? 814 00:40:53,779 --> 00:41:02,055 ? 815 00:41:02,124 --> 00:41:10,365 ? 816 00:41:10,434 --> 00:41:11,814 -Hey, Katie. 817 00:41:11,917 --> 00:41:13,262 We're so glad to have you audition for 818 00:41:13,365 --> 00:41:14,952 "Doomed Service: Hell Motel." 819 00:41:15,055 --> 00:41:17,089 Have a seat. We'll do a couple of takes. 820 00:41:17,917 --> 00:41:20,710 -Okay. Rolling, rolling. Stand by. 821 00:41:21,331 --> 00:41:22,917 -And action. 822 00:41:23,021 --> 00:41:24,021 [Static buzzes] 823 00:41:28,814 --> 00:41:30,883 -Uh, I think a slower turn is good. 824 00:41:30,986 --> 00:41:33,434 Hey, Connor, can we punch in, uh, a little bit more. 825 00:41:33,503 --> 00:41:34,986 -100% -Close. 826 00:41:35,055 --> 00:41:38,262 Real close. That's it. That's beautiful. 827 00:41:39,296 --> 00:41:41,469 -See you in Hell. 828 00:41:41,572 --> 00:41:42,986 -Can we do one more? 829 00:41:43,089 --> 00:41:45,365 I'd love to have the eyes that are just dead. 830 00:41:45,676 --> 00:41:47,469 -Okay. -Uh, yeah. Just take your time. 831 00:41:47,572 --> 00:41:49,572 I love it. Action! 832 00:41:56,193 --> 00:41:57,952 -See you in Hell. 833 00:42:12,607 --> 00:42:15,021 -And scene. That's it. Great work, Katie. 834 00:42:15,124 --> 00:42:17,710 -You think so? -Yeah. -I hope so. 835 00:42:17,779 --> 00:42:19,883 I would literally kill for this part. 836 00:42:20,296 --> 00:42:21,158 ? 837 00:42:23,158 --> 00:42:40,331 ? 838 00:42:40,434 --> 00:42:50,262 ? 839 00:42:50,312 --> 00:42:54,862 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0